Anybody out there with a 12 year old daughter????

[kimbaljd]

Simmymom1, I have to say thanks for starting this topic! I know you intended it to get you a little relief, which it looks like it did. Good deal!  (clapping) But I have to admit that it has caused me to sit back and get some perspective on mine and my daughter's relationship. I have started thinking when I respond to her and any emotional outbursts or just plain old mis behavior. She is ten, so she is just starting to get to the beginning of what I am so afraid to deal with as a little girl. I am a single dad and trying to consider her "feelings" all the time wears me out! But I wouldn't trade it for the world! I will however accept any and all secrets to dealing with young ladies during all these times!  :

 

[DLD]

SWMO, I can already see that one coming. They each had a heifer last fall - different breeds, so that helped some, but they still crossed paths in the grand drive. Worst case was at a district show where they both were breed champions (Chi and Maine, not to mention big brother having champion Shorthorn, too) - the judge talked all the champions, then said "The Maine heifer will be grand", which was Hayle's. After the ringman pulled her out, the judge gets back on the mic and says "I'm sorry, that wasn't the one I meant to use". Puts her back in line and goes and get Bryce's Chi heifer - Talk about scarin' ol' dad to death... But he ended up using Hayle's heifer for reserve, and she actually wasn't upset about it (unbelievably). Talk about your close calls, though.

They stay at each other's throats, too, (all three of 'em, in fact) but like you said, nobody else better mess with one of 'em unless they want 'em all.

 

[ATOZ]

Great Topic!!! We have four kids 14,11,( boys) 4 & 3 ( girls) and before we had the girls we fought every battle that came up with the boys but now with the girls and the lack of time we pick our battles and i feel we are getting along better now than every!

 

[red]

treasure every moment even the good & the bad. As a mother who's daughter has completely gone bad ( jail & worse) I wish for just the little fights. We tried to do right, shows, eating together at supper & church but it just didn't matter. Cherish them, teach them right from wrong, give them some freedom but just enough & keep them active & happy.

Good luck. Being a parent is the most important job you'll ever have.

Red  (angel)

 

[SWMO]

Red, it is sad that when our kids reach a certain age, their peers have so much more influence on them than we do.  I am truly sorry for your heartache.  You can never truly understand how heartwrenching life experiences can be until you have experienced them yourself.  You never understand anothers pain unless you have walked in their shoes.  My prayers go out to your daughter and to you.

Judy (angel)

 

[Simmymom1]

treasure every moment even the good & the bad. As a mother who's daughter has completely gone bad ( jail & worse) I wish for just the little fights. We tried to do right, shows, eating together at supper & church but it just didn't matter. Cherish them, teach them right from wrong, give them some freedom but just enough & keep them active & happy.

Good luck. Being a parent is the most important job you'll ever have.

Red  (angel)

Red,  (angel)
        I am very sorry for what you have gone through with your daughter.  This is one of the real reasons that I am so concerned about my relationship with my daughter.  I guess you could almost say that I was like your daughter.  The only difference is that my mom did not do alot for me like a mother should, she never "talked" to me about things and never really got me prepared for life.  My parents divorced when I was 10 years old and thankfully I was pretty much raised by my dad and he did his very best to raise me.  The times that I was with my mother were awful times, she would fill my mind up with such crap.  She would pretty much tell me that I would not amount to anything unless I married a wealthy husband when I grew up.  She also would compare me to other girls and make me feel like I was ugly and the other girls were pretty.  I grew up with pretty low self esteem and when I turned 20 I guess you could say I "fell apart", my dad remarried and things got really rough for me.  I was looking for attention from the wrong kind of people and spending money on things that I thought would make me feel better (materialistic things), and I got myself into some bad legal troubles by writing checks that I did not have the money for.  If it would not have been for both of my wonderful grandmothers to help me out, I truly do not know how things would have turned out for me.  The saying that you have to "reach rock bottom" fit me to a tee, I turned my life around and developed self esteem and made something out of myself.  I am very lucky to have met my husband when I was 28 and he loves me unconditionally, through the good and the bad.  To this day I do not have much of a relationship with my mother as I have come to see that she is really the one with the problem, not me.  She has been through four marriages and she thinks that the way the person looks on the outside is the most important thing in the world, it is not, it is what you have on the inside that matters the most!!  She is a very beautiful woman, very fit and trim and all that, but on the inside she is ugly and unhappy.  I feel very sorry for her, and I do love her, I just don't like her very much.  I do not blame her for anything that has happened in my life, I take full responsibility for that.  I just hope that I do a better job with my daughter than my mother did, I know that I am doing my best, it is just hard right now with her age and hormones.  I could never imagine my life without my daughter, and I just want to cherish every moment with her and do right by her because that is my "job" as her mother.  Anyway, it is good to have you back Red, we all missed you very much!!  Lisa

 

[ELBEE]

Simmymom1,

Every little girl's, Daddy's, worst nightmare!