redneck bovine dictionary

[common sense]

Cowz gave me the idea for this.  I heard a term the other day that I had never come across before.  Thought it would be fun if everyone shared a term with its definition.  Maybe we could all become famous and publish a book someday!  This has probably already been done but what the heck.  It's cold out and I am bored.

REMUDA:  A large band of horses. (Thanks cowz!)

TRAP:  A fenced in area to contain wandering bovines. (Heard that one while visiting Texas)

 

[OH Breeder]

I have always liked the term "ground sow". Sow Bellied. I also like those kind of females.
I have heard this quiet a bit recently, ...." she is soft made, has a soft look" Guess that is more of a phrase than a word.

 

[Doc]

Watching the news right now & we had a tractor trlr overturn with a load of stockyard calves on it. The reporter kept calling a steer a cow , because she said it didn't have any horns. To top it off it was about a 600 lb calf.
That's like non cattle people always asking me why my Shorthorn cattle don't have any horns.

 

[aj]

What is a knothead? I always thought at was a bad disposition bovine....maybe one that is annoying to the owner for various reasons.

 

[Doc]

What is a knothead? I always thought at was a bad disposition bovine....maybe one that is annoying to the owner for various reasons.

I've always considered a knothead in cattle as a runt. In my kids as whichever one does something silly at the moment.

 

[rtnok]

  In Texas they call them "Tanks" but in northern OK. we call them "Ponds". To us a tank is metal or plastic sitting by the windmill. rtnok.

 

[knabe]

bullie - a scrotum sac targeted to city slickers with a high mark up.  had a friend in college who calved out the angus heifers, and when she castrated, she used to sell the sack to her friends for gear shift knob covers as a novelty for $10.

 

[Dero]

Toad: a small worthless calf,that will never mature into something you would want in your front pasture

 

[Rocky Hill Simmental]

A few years ago we where implanting steers and my sister's friend (and our old neighbor) wandered over and asked what we were doing and we told her, implanting steers and she stared at us with a blank expression so I asked her, "Do you know what implants are?" and she answered, "I know that a lot of celebrities get 'em"

(lol)

 

[cowz]

  In Texas they call them "Tanks" but in northern OK. we call them "Ponds". To us a tank is metal or plastic sitting by the windmill. rtnok.

YES! in addition, in the southwest a metal stocktank is called a "tub".  When I was married off to that part of the world, I was ALWAYs in trouble for not accurately describing where the water was!!!

 

[NHR]

I've always known "tub" to mean a circler crowding pen leading to the alley way of the chute.

 

[afhm]

In South Dakota a dugout = a stock tank, pond, or watering hole.  Snake = chute/alley way leading to a squeeze chute.

 

[aj]

I will agree with dero on the toad deal. Is a grain bin on a combine a grain bin or a hopper? Is a pickup a pickup or is it a truck? Do you plant wheat or do you drill it? Do you pick corn or do you harvest or cut it? I think a dugout is a temporary home dug into a hillside with a thatch top that homesteaders used in in the 1870's. Mayonaise alot of confusion out there. ;D

 

[aj]

I heard paul harvey making fun of the term "heifer bull" one day. Seems like he is getting goofy in his old age. What is a heiferette? (dog)and when did she know it?

 

[reno1014]

Who owns the black and white calf that won the photo contest?  That is the most beautiful calf I have ever seen.

 

[shorthorns r us]

(Wave a wad of bal'in wire in his face)

This relates to a battle that i have fought my entire life. My grandpa calls it "Oklahoma Bolt".  He can use balin' waar(sp?)(that's right, waar, pronunciation is the "w" sound followed by the word that is spelled "are") to do unbelievable and often equally stupefying things, which bring me to my second term "Southern Engineered".  I think we all know what that one means.  When things break and must be put back together just good enough to use, that is "Southern Engineering".  The real problem arises when everything is "Southern Engineered" with "Balin' Waar" and is called a repaired rather than just fixed.  If there was a collegiate program for "Southern Engineering", that old man would be the department head.  Even when he tries to do something right, it usually gets "Southern Engineered" and usually with "Balin' Waar".

 

[chambero]

Southern engineering is the politically correct term we've all had to change to.  I suspect we all know what old version is.

We have tanks and traps in all of our pastures. 

You don't catch cows and heifers coming in heat, you catch them "bulling".

My oldest son got into an argument with his kindergarden teacher a couple of years ago.  Our cows don't eat eat hay, they eat "cake".

My wife didn't get offended when I called my friends to them she calved.  Seriously.

 

[itk]

Having recently married a city person and the thing we struggle the most with is what meal we are eating and when. Growing up we had breakfast, dinner, lunch (in mid-afternoon), and supper. When my folks come over for dinner my wife always has to hussle to get things ready because she always expects them at night instead of noon. I always get in trouble because when I go to the inlaws for what they call dinner I always think we are eating at noon so I plan stuff to do in the evening only to find out thats when they want to eat.

 

[shortyjock89]

I think I'll probably have to marry a country girl with a love for the showring in her veins...I don't know of any other type of woman that would want to and know how to put up with the habits of a country boy who shows cattle too much!

Oh, and you oughta hear my dad get on about how Becky (or whoever the lady is) calved last week...and I'll be sittin here scratchin my head thinkin "Now, we don't have any cows named Becky, what the heck..?" It takes me a minute sometimes to catch on that he's talking about someone in town having a baby...all of our town friends could probably sit in awe for hours at the crazy redneck bovine things my dad says that he uses to describe people...

 

[ROAD WARRIOR]

I think I'll probably have to marry a country girl with a love for the showring in her veins...I don't know of any other type of woman that would want to and know how to put up with the habits of a country boy who shows cattle too much!

Oh, and you oughta hear my dad get on about how Becky (or whoever the lady is) calved last week...and I'll be sittin here scratchin my head thinkin "Now, we don't have any cows named Becky, what the heck..?" It takes me a minute sometimes to catch on that he's talking about someone in town having a baby...all of our town friends could probably sit in awe for hours at the crazy redneck bovine things my dad says that he uses to describe people...

SJ - Good luck finding a gal. Life on the road is hard on relashionships. After 30 some odd years on the show circuit road I've seen alot of wives become the Ex after the charm of traveling wears off and she becomes a barn widow. Wish you well man!