Single parents in the steer show world?

[TripleH]

Just curious... Are there many single parents out there doing this? And what anyones thoughts are on single moms/dads chances of success?

 

[shortyjock89]

My dad did it from the time I was 3 until I was 18. It may not be easy, but it can be done.

 

[TripleH]

Thank you. I am a newly single Mom with an 11 year old daughter going into her 4th year of showing.  It really is a ton of work but she eat sleeps and breathes it.  This past year was our first year doing it just the two of us and we did hold our own but were exhausted by the time we finished our last major.  As with anything there are always nay sayers and many tell me it won't work but I really want to prove them wrong.  I just don't want to cause more harm than good while going at it alone so any advice is very much appreciated.

 

[Bradenh]

My dad did it with us until he was married 2 years ago, there's more than you would think! It can be done

The more I sit and think the more I can come up with, both moms and dads with their kids on the circuit

 

[loveRedcows]

Thank you. I am a newly single Mom with an 11 year old daughter going into her 4th year of showing.  It really is a ton of work but she eat sleeps and breathes it.  This past year was our first year doing it just the two of us and we did hold our own but were exhausted by the time we finished our last major.  As with anything there are always nay sayers and many tell me it won't work but I really want to prove them wrong.  I just don't want to cause more harm than good while going at it alone so any advice is very much appreciated.

My theory is that if you are spending time with your daughter doing what she loves, then win or lose you can't go wrong.  Too many parents provide monetary support without putting in the hours and emotional support - and they're the ones who miss out.  Go for it....she will remember this later in life.  Good luck.

 

[TripleH]

Thank you both for the encouragement!

 

[Limiman12]

Yeah, your probably crazy, s you will fit right in!    I can see it now, steerplanet singles forum!

 

[TripleH]

Hah! That's a good one!!

 

[Bilmar]

I have had people tell me I was crazy for spending the money it took To go to 6 shows a year not including the county fair. My response is that you can put your money in cattle with your kids or drug rehab and see which give you a better return, at least my kids spent all their time in the barn and not out running the roads. My hat is off to you for wanting to spend time with your daughter, that's what America needs more of these days, because the way I see it is that we as a country are heading down the dark road. Good luck and stay tuned in to her life, it's a rough world out there. <rock>

 

[Telos]

I think if you are determined and have a healthy perspective then just about anything can be done.

My one suggestion is that nothing is really accomplished single handedly. Most everything takes a team of people to help you work towards achieving your goal.

You as a mother is only part of the equation for success. Never be afraid to ask professionals for a little help. Loading calves from home to a show, clipping , vacinations etc.. Not even the very best does this alone.

 

[SKF]

I have been doing this for many years as a single mom with my kids and its has been great. So don't let being a single parent stop you from enjoying and spending valuable time with your daughter. I look forward to the days me and my girls hook up the trailer and load the cows for a 7 hr drive to a show. Its that time we talk everything in life and I would not trade all the mother and daughter time we have had with showing because has kept us a close nit family. Yes backing up a trailer sometimes is not my thing and the heavy equipment can be a challenge to unload but we ask people at the shows for help and we get it done. Just remember you can do anything a two parent home can do so don't let doubt stop you. They are only kids once so enjoy the one on one time you with have with your daughter.

 

[chambero]

The one technicality on this issue is when the parent that wants the kid to show isn't the one with custody.  I've heard some gripes in the past and know of some cases where the calf "lives with" and is taken care of by dad.  In my opinion, this should be considered an approved exception to the "daily care" rules we have in Texas.  Nobody ever usually says anything.  I do know of one big dustup involving this kind of situation where a breed champion at a major was involved.  Dad bought the calf and paid the bills.  The check went to the kid through the county 4-H where they lived with mom.  Mom got hold of the check and spent it (supposedly I must add) and dad never got reimbursed for the actual expense and mom offered no help in using that money to help fund next year's project.  The situation can get complicated, but our rules should allow maximum flexibility in these situations.

 

[bovine and equine]

I have been a single mom for two years.  My nine year old daughter shows.  It can be done (thumbsup)

 

[lbolinger1976]

I have done it the last two years and showing actually became easier and more fun for our family. My ex husband was not a fan of the cows and always complained. Now we do it and have a blast. My close friends however have been my saving grace through it all. I have several who help at the shows and at the in between times. Its been amazing how much closer my daughters and I have become and how much our relationship has grown. Go for it have no regrets!!!! <party>

 

[Redfern]

Just curious... Are there many single parents out there doing this? And what anyones thoughts are on single moms/dads chances of success?

I have wondered this as well, but if you are doing what you and your child want to do, then you've already achieved success. 
My biggest worry is when the previous "other" brings their new partner and he feels obligated to help.

 

[CAB]

Just curious... Are there many single parents out there doing this? And what anyones thoughts are on single moms/dads chances of success?

I have wondered this as well, but if you are doing what you and your child want to do, then you've already achieved success. 
My biggest worry is when the previous "other" brings their new partner and he feels obligated to help.

I'm not a single parent, but I do have a sister that is and for the kids sake if the parents could somehow agree to disagree and move on & realize the tough spot that kids are put in when their parents can't seem to get along it would make their lives so much easier. If Dad wants to help, I would try to bite my lip & let him help. I know that it is easy for me to say, but the kids are stuck in the middle and can't help that this is their Dad or that this is their Mom. It would make birthdays, holidays, weddings, babies , & just life in general so much easier for them to deal with if they didn't have to walk on pins & needles all the time. In my sister's case, she says well I never say anything bad about him, but the honest truth is that the kids just somehow know to never mention his name and he could never come in the house, and they don't ever dare to tell Mom when an occasion is happening on Dad's side of the family. That's allot of pressure on an innocent 5, 10, 13, or whatever age kid that has had their whole turned upside down.

 

[GONEWEST]

In most cases single parents with custody of their children deserve a Presidential medal anyway. But when you ad to that any activity that takes the time, effort and money that showing cattle does, they deserve a parade as well. I am sure there are many cases where the parents cooperate and get that done, but I am betting in most cases it's not quite that way.

One thing that really bothers me is that the "community" of people that show could be such a great help in so many ways to a family in these circumstances. But due to either the competitiveness or just callousness so many times these people are left to fend for themselves. The physical effort that it takes to set up and take down for a show can be a lot to handle for a woman with a 10 year old. Or a man for that matter. I am not saying it can't be done or isn't done many times over. For instance Justin's dad did it (Olsen) and Justin turned out ok....................mostly.  But it would be a lot easier on folks in this situation if a little more help and empathy were shown. And it would be more enjoyable for all involved. Your calf isn't going to lose because you helped someone in some way.

 

[cowpoke]

The time we spent going to shows was one of our best memories and the one on one time is priceless.Several times my daughters and wife went to the shows without me due to prior commitments judging , farm related ,or racing and the other showpeople were more than helpfull . It seems like most familys were closer with each other and even 20 years later I still consider them my friends.We need to realize the real reason behind showing and that is to help our kids develop into responsible adults and unfortunately some have forgot that.Ipods , cell phones[texting] and computers make it hard to communicate and probably have made parenting more difficult.More than one single parent has met someone and became part of another  family as everyone at least had the same interests.Winning is fun but the journey is more important.

 

[CAB]

BTW, great thread here and the replies have been some of the best on Steer Planet for some time IMO and like Gonewest said, you parents and especially you single parents do deserve a parade and a medal for your duty that goes above and beyond. I know how exhausting the job can be for two parents. I can't imagine what it must be like for a single parent.
  I wish everyone on Steer Planet would take the time to put their location down @ the very least. I find myself looking to find where some of you are located in the thoughts of reaching out to possibly help you with a reasonably priced project.

 

[RyanChandler]

Just curious... Are there many single parents out there doing this? And what anyones thoughts are on single moms/dads chances of success?

I have wondered this as well, but if you are doing what you and your child want to do, then you've already achieved success. 
My biggest worry is when the previous "other" brings their new partner and he feels obligated to help.

You should be even more appreciative then.  Unless you have a great job, it'll take several pockets to compete.