Sore Losers

[DL]

There is a column in the SHorthorn Country (I just started reading,except showrtdawg article of course, was looking at pictures ;D ;D by Jake ALden - he basically took a story from BW called "Brother talks to his sitser the first time she shows a calf"  - I don't know if it is on the web but if not we should post it - it is excellent.

Short story - many years ago in a state far away I rode and showed horses a lot - I thought if I had the 10 K push button horse I would be somebody (10 K was big bucks way back in the dark ages!)...with my $600 horse that I broke and showed I guessed I was nobody. Well one day the person who was to ride the 10K (whose name incidentally I don't remember, but I do remember the $600 horse) didn't show up to ride at the BIG show - they asked if I wanted to ride him (her? gosh don't remember) = I figured my life would change. Rode the horse. Won evey class I was in. Got my name in the paper repeatedly (they spelled it wrong and put me in the wrong town) - the fame was distorted and shortlived - I realized that in reality it was really a nothing. When it came time to move out and throw stuff otu - those ribbons went - they didn't mean a thing. I still have the $600 horses brass name tag. Ah life, gotta love it! (clapping) (clapping)

 

[afhm]

My opinion, let them complain and talk it just makes the taste of victory that much sweeter when you beat them again.  I have heard my fair share of complaining and been accused of everything in the book even though I followed all the rules.  The people that have accused me of cheating were the ones actually cheating and still got beat.  I will admit I have also done my fair share of complaining but it was done in the truck on the way home with family, never in public or with anyone outside the family.  We all knew that was the only place and time to do it.  I personally don't have a problem with hired fitters when they are allowed, if a youngster is fortunate to have such a service provided for them then get after it.  How many kids out there would love have and be able to say just once that someone of the likes of May, Copus, Maddox, Collins, Caldwell, Nowatzke, Stoltz, Habeger, Lindsay, Stierwalt, etc.. clip and or fit their steer/heifer?  I bet the majority would fall in that category.

 

[Show Dad]

DL - Right on!

I think back of the hard work I put in as a kid and the ribbons that mean the most are the ones where I did it myself.

 

[DLD]

I think the smaller the show, the more feelings get hurt. There are 6 families (about 12 kids) that show cattle at our school. As a whole we all (parents and kids) get along really well, work together well, and once we're showing against somebody else we all root for each other (we travel together and tie together, too). But twice a year we've gotta have a local show just to be sure and get somebody ticked off.
Local's are notorious for having unpredictable judges, and there are way more sheep and goats than cattle, so the judge is usually more of a sheep and/or goat person, and there's never any telling what might happen. I always let Clay take whatever he wants, and he usually wants to take them all - his reasoning being that they might all but one get beat, but we don't know which one. As a result we have gone home with all 3 grands (heifer, prospect steer and market steer) a few times, a couple of times with a reserve grand to boot... We weren't real popular after that for awhile - one mother told me it must be nice for my friends to judge the show. I tried to explain that I'd never even met the guy before then, but she didn't want to hear it. I just let it go - I try really hard not to take it too serious, win, lose or draw. We're trying to teach our kids to be gracious, whether they win or lose.

As far as how much somebody's calf cost, or who's helping them, I guess I think all that's part of life, no matter what you do. Someone's always going to have advantages of some kind, and to me what we're trying to teach is to get out there and do the best you can. Sometimes you can beat some of those advantages with hard work and a little luck, and it sure is sweet when you get it done.

 

[red]

Justme- all I can say is WAY TO GO DEE! (clapping) They just better watch out when Evan's old enough to start showing!
I know how much time you spend w/ her & the animals. You & the kids put a lot of time into your projects. Dee has come so far from the first of the year when all she did was cry. Also look at all the trouble you've had health wise w/ those woolies. I'd hold my head up, find myself a pen or pen outside & just blow right past the sore losers. Firgure it this way, they always need someone to talk about. Just remember this whenever you or the kids get tempted to gripe about someone else who's winning.

Go Funks!!!

Red

 

[cowz]

What really sucks is when you're in a situation like Jill's.  I have had similar things happen to me and my friends.  We will win champion whatever at a fair with calves we raised, and then we'll hear all the usual "barn talk".  Things like "Well, you know, they spent 10k on a heifer just to beat us." Or, "Well, you know that that cooler they have is why they have all that hair."  I don't even have a cooler, just a dark barn with lots of fans.  I've never spent 10k on a heifer, and I really don't like sore losers, but I guess some folks like to rationalize by blaming other people. 

Oh, and justme- keep reminding your daughter to keep her head up and not to listen when people try to bring her down.  She's overcome alot this first year, especially with getting over being frightened by her calf, so you know she is already a strong person, these sore losers are just another hurdle. 

We also had an experience like that last year.  One father was relentless on asking how much we spent on one of the steers.  By the end of the week a $1800 steer became a $10,000 steer.  Our family had a lot of fun giving out various prices.  You really have to have a sense of humor about it.  A friend of our whose daughter also experiences a lot of jealousy from people has the following advice when people make snotty remarks.  It goes something like this (usually in regard to some of their home raised heifers):  "must be nice to show $5000 heifers!"  Dad says: "I wouldn't be caught dead showing a $5000 heifer!"

Just give them something to ponder.  They are going to talk garbage about you anyway.  Teach your kids to keep their heads up and ignore the nastiness.  One thing about having a little success is that it teaches you who your true friends are.  Just my opinion.....YOU GUYS JUST HANG IN THERE!

 

[knabe]

as a recovering sore loser, i remember one time crying when i was 8 or so that my brother scored ONE point on me in basketball.  we were playing football on the grass and the endzone was the driveway.  i tackled him, his elbow hit the cement and broke his arm.  on the other hand, the school bully chased me home for some reason with a gang of his friends and challenged scrawny me.  he started shoving, i threw a punch and down he went.  we became best friends after that.  throughout one's life, we will all have disappointmentst.  these days, it is getting tougher and tougher to find mentors who can teach kids (mosltyl adults) how to win or lose.  it takes a lot to change. and we tend to weigh the bad with more weight than the good in people.

 

[JbarL]

Winning and losing are all part of the show ring.

But has anyone experienced someone being mad  that you won?

win with a smile ......lose with a smile

 

[Show Dad]

I really don't appreciate the sore losers but it does help build character. I have seen my kids handle some situations with poise and grace where I would have as a kid had visions of constricting their wind pipe. (I too am a recovering sore loser). My mother spent a lot of time helping me to see the long term consequences of how I responded to "being cheated." (I admit she was right, but if you tell anyone I'll deny it ).  I have tried to pass this on to my kids as well.

 

[justme]

We experienced it this weekend.  My daughter has had an awesome first year, and we are so gratful that she has.  She always helps anyone out that she can...she's just that kind of kid.  We pulled in and nobody wanted to let us pen next to them telling us they are already taken.  Finally someone let us pen.  Then they wouldn't let us in the wash rack.  The one boy said why should we let someone who could beat us in?  Wow were we taken back.  I took my daughter aside and had to explain why a young man who has always been nice to her would act so rude to her.

Just a shame that when a kid works hard others get jealous.  Kids just need to keep there chins up and win and loose with dignity.

You tell her we are all very proud of her, your true friends will still be you friends regardless of who wins.  It is a good lesson of how not to be when you get beat, hard way to learn it, but sometimes I think it is more meaningful when it is something you experience rather than something your parents have just told you to do.
By the way, which heifer did you end up buying, never did hear your decision?

I haven't made up my mind yet...really thinking of taking all 3 of them.  Then the ones with good personalities she can show.  Now just to talk Eric into all 3 heifers lol

 

[justme]

We try to keep the kids away from the "gossip" as much as we can.  Danielle is young and being her first year she really was confused with her "friends" behavior.  My mom told her good wisdom...."They only talk about the good ones, you never hear them talk about the bad ones."  Danielle handed me the cell phone with a big smile.  I just reminded her win or loose, she needs to be just the way she is....a nice young lady that would help anyone.  I'm one proud Mom of her first year.  We are not from Missouri so we kinda blind sided the Missouri show circuit a little, but that's ok.  I really feel with all her hard work she deserves every award she gets and I won't let anyone take that away from her.

She took Reserve champion Market lamb this weekend too so that didn't help much.

 

[Jill]

Tell him all your friends think it is a great idea to take them all.  If that doesn't work you can do what I do and give him the sob story that your children are only little once and they won't have the opportunity to do this forever.  Let me know if it works any better for you than it does for me (lol).  
We haven't even started looking, Grady is old enough to show next year so we will have 2 going.  We bought a fall born that we'll show this year and we have a couple of nice ones that we may end up keeping, we'll just have to see, it's so much money, it's always hard to know what to do.

 

[red]

Jill, that's what I told her. Now if we can also convince her hubby that I need her to come to Louisville we'll be set!

Red (lol)

 

[justme]

Wish we had one we raised to show, but the "bull gods" looked down upon us and gave us 26 out of 30 calves as bulls....  Never fails! lol

 

[Showcalves]

They're everywhere, but county fairs do tend to be the worst.  Our boys have often excelled at our fair and last year it finally all came to a head when some of the adults chose to pick on them.  I can sure handle the adults saying things to Mike and I but NOT to my boys.    Needless to say, they finally realized they probably picked on the wrong kids.  Mike has been accused of paying off the judge at the county fair when we had never met him until time for the show.  :  This year a heifer we sold was the reserve champion at our county fair and people took that so much better than if our boys had won with one of their heifers.  Still not sure why it was better, but whatever.  LOL.  Remind your kiddos to shake the other exhibitors hands and the judge's hand and move forward.  That should offset a lot of the snippy attitudes.

Melinda

 

[Jill]

Wish we had one we raised to show, but the "bull gods" looked down upon us and gave us 26 out of 30 calves as bulls....  Never fails! lol

Wished we could have traded with you.  Our embryo matings we are looking for specific things.  We bred to Anchor to try for some replacement heifers, got a bull calf out of that mating.  We bred to Radioactive and Heat Wave looking for steers and ended up with heifers.  Don't know that we have the perfect one I'm looking for, but we have some great market heifers :, maybe next year, flushed to Paradise we'll find out tomorrow how we did on those, that should make either steers or heifers, but this is the 1st time for this cow so we'll see.

 

[Show Dad]

They're everywhere, but county fairs do tend to be the worst.  Our boys have often excelled at our fair and last year it finally all came to a head when some of the adults chose to pick on them.  I can sure handle the adults saying things to Mike and I but NOT to my boys.     Needless to say, they finally realized they probably picked on the wrong kids.  Mike has been accused of paying off the judge at the county fair when we had never met him until time for the show.   :  This year a heifer we sold was the reserve champion at our county fair and people took that so much better than if our boys had won with one of their heifers.  Still not sure why it was better, but whatever.  LOL.  Remind your kiddos to shake the other exhibitors hands and the judge's hand and move forward.  That should offset a lot of the snippy attitudes.

I'm with you. We can handle the idle barn talk but don't pick on the kids. So many things they attest to that have no bases in fact. But if they say it where my kid can hear, well then it's time for a come to Jesus meeting. I've done this not only to the barn busy bodies but to a few friends who started ragging about someone too. If you don't say it no one can hear it!

Just remember SC your kids do a lot of work no matter how much the judge costs! ;D

 

[NHR]

We had a similar situation at our county show. Some people were threatening to shave our heifer if we left it over night after we took Supreme Champion. We took the heifer home. What idiots because they would have felt my wrath if they had touched one of our heifers. Of course we got the usual "had to get a $20k heifer(we spent $1500) to win" and with our cow calf pair that did good at the show we got the "no way that the DOB is correct on the calf", which the DOB is correct because I have photographic proof and signed records from the AI Tech that bred here. All the photos were in our scrapbook with time and date stamps (1/24/2007 at 1:32am) had to help with the calf so I could get other heifers to Fort Worth for the Shorhorn Open Show.

Of course one thing that will get to me is seeing the same heifer passed around to 4 different kids from week to week. Still couldnt beat us.

 

[AAOK]

Jill, I admit when I read your post I was shaking my head. I complain about hired jocks doing the youths work because is it against the rules. It is the KIDS project, not the parents, not the steer jocks. I think it is cheating. But like I said, life isn't fair. The playing field will always be divided by the have and the have nots. Telling a 12 year old to "get to the barn and rinse" while competing against a jock that has the show barn, show fans, all the goop, etc, is like telling a high school lineman to step into the NFL and  "lift weights".
I agree with tellling the kids to work hard, but to pretend that having a high dollar jock do the kids work for them is NOT an advantage is just silly

I have to side with Jill on this point.  It must have something to do with going to lots of AJMAA shows.  Our family also did EVERTHING ourselves, including breeding our own Show Calves.  Our girls heard these same two things before every show, "We are not here to win.  We are here to show off one of God's creatures to the best of our ability", and "Don't worry about what anyone else is doing.  Just be sure you do everything straight up".  One point I want to make is that I disagree about the Junior Shows being a KIDS project.  As far as I'm concerned, Showing is a family project.  I'll have to admit, this OLD 4-H er probably did more fo the work than the kids, but they did their share, with the time they had around all the other school studies and events.  They WERE at the barn every morning.  Since we were a well organized team, we ALWAYS felt as though we had the advantage over the Jock/Fitter's calves and kids.

Back to the original subject of the post:  Absolutely, even friends get mad at the winners, especially if you win consistently!  By the time both girls were in High School, they didn't even want to go the the County show.  I made them go, because I always felt the viewing public deserved to see someone have nice looking, well behaved, beautifully groomed, and professionally exhibited cattle.  After our 3rd year of showing, our family was regarded as the worst cheating scoundrals in the county.  The only sad thing was at Premium Auction time.  Four different times, one of our girls lead the Supreme Champion Heifer into the sale ring.  Each year, they had the lowest bid of all cattle entries.  We were not there for the money, but it's a shame adults will treat kids that way. 

LIFE IS NOT FAIR!  What a great learning experience the show ring is.  Colossians 3:17 says, "Whatever you do, whether in word or in deed, do it all in the name of Jesus Christ, giving God the glory through Him".  His rewards are far greater than those of the world. 

Dan

 

[red]

Thank you Dan- very well put! I for one am sorry you're not going to be a part of the show world anymore.

Red