High School bullying - NC

[Show Heifer]

To all high school students:  As a teacher and member of a bully task force, I am seeking suggestions and ideas on how to handle bullying in high school.
What would you suggest to stop bullying?
How would you educate kids to NOT bully?
How would you feel comfortable reporting bullying?
How should the bullier be punished?
Any additional thoughts on bullying or being bullied?
ADDED QUESTION: What is your definition of "bullying"? What exactly IS bullying?

Due to the sensitive nature of some of the comments that might be made, feel free to PM me with your ideas.
I want to hear from both sides if possible.

THANK YOU.

 

[shortyjock89]

If kids wanna bully other kids, maybe they should just stay home.  A real good way of dealing with bullying is for one of the little dudes to get fed up and wail on the one doing the bullying.  I know that won't exactly fly at school, but it sure does work.

 

[mooch]

Hit em hard with a stick , repeat til problem stops. Also works against theft , swearing , and general misconduct. Should only be used at home , and should not be entrusted to liberal teachers as interpretation of directions may cause damage to performance of product.

 

[Show Steaks]

As a freshmen in college i've heard about every bullying speech throughout high school.
The thing i see with "bullying" is that the repoters usually are kids that lack confidence/self esteem, they may "jump the gun" on accussing some ppl. teachers also seem to call out bullying before a moajority of students.
in school  there was a pecking order and different cliques within that, the ppl at are accused of being over bearing.
The question i ask myself is... am i a bully because i state my opinion and dont let anyone else tell me i'm wrong, am i bully for being confident in myself

as for punishing i absolutely hate when schools give out of school suspensions it defeats the whole purpose of school.. the absolute worst punishment is sitting in a little blank room alone doing your homework, take there phone and ipod before they go in there and make sure they are awake every 20 minutes

 

[herefordfootball]

#1: Better inform children on how hurtful and upsetting the bullying can be to one person and what it can cause them to do(sometimes up to suicide).
#2: Have a seminar on the affects of bullying and how to recognize bullying no matter how small the case is.
#3: No, truthfully I wouldnt feel comfortable reporting bullying, because my way of doing things is I either whoop on the kid till he shuts up, or I go over to the kid getting bullied and say come on lets go do something else and let the bully know if he does it again he'll be reported.
#4: Punishment for the bully in my book: Idk what to say here, except put them in, in school suspension with nothing but homework in front of them. No recess. Half the time for lunch(by themselves, dont get to eat with friends), and if they are in sports suspend them from a week of practice and one game.
#5: In my experience only a senior in high school but I'd call bullying: One child or adult who tries and sometimes succeeds at belittling another classmate or worker to try and get entertainment from the experience and to draw attention to themselves and seem like the dominant person in a situation. These are usually people who dont get the attention they need at home, have a constant need for attention, and need to feel dominant or more powerful, therefor they result to bullying. A pathetic,cheap, and wrong way of trying to achieve what they are trying to achieve.

To all high school students:  As a teacher and member of a bully task force, I am seeking suggestions and ideas on how to handle bullying in high school.
What would you suggest to stop bullying?
How would you educate kids to NOT bully?
How would you feel comfortable reporting bullying?
How should the bullier be punished?
Any additional thoughts on bullying or being bullied?
ADDED QUESTION: What is your definition of "bullying"? What exactly IS bullying?

Due to the sensitive nature of some of the comments that might be made, feel free to PM me with your ideas.
I want to hear from both sides if possible.

THANK YOU.

 

[ROAD WARRIOR]

1 - Make the rules apply to everyone, including the star ball players, school board members kids, etc.
2 - Enforce the rules that are in place.
3 - With all of the video surveiliance it's not that hard to follow up on a complaint, follow up all of them.
4 - Make the adults - teachers, staff and administration accountable - if they want to look the other way because Johny is the QB or Sally is the star forward on the basketball team, let them do it from a different school district.

 

[garybob]

1 - Make the rules apply to everyone, including the star ball players, school board members kids, etc.
2 - Enforce the rules that are in place.
3 - With all of the video surveiliance it's not that hard to follow up on a complaint, follow up all of them.
4 - Make the adults - teachers, staff and administration accountable - if they want to look the other way because Johny is the QB or Sally is the star forward on the basketball team, let them do it from a different school district.

Yup!

 

[Dusty]

One thing that usually works:  " son, if so and so keeps picking on you for no reason, pop him right in the nose!" 

 

[AAOK]

Make Cell Phones illegal under the age of 18.  That would stop 90%.  The bullies don't have the guts to say something to someone's face!

 

[Show Heifer]

Fighting in school, or afterwards, is not acceptable, so I can not encourage kids to get into a physical fight.  If the theory behind spanking is wrong, so is encouraging fighting to stop bullying.
I have found in my "research" that many kids who are bullys, often have bullys as parents. You all know the type: My kid is never wrong, you can't do that to MY kid. The parent will get into trouble "defending' their child over a school policy, etc.
So maybe the question needs to be ask is "How do you explain to PARENTS that bullying is wrong?" 

I can think of a few school policies that WERE enforced, only for the parent to show up and raise hell, and excuse their childs behavior.  I agree that all policies and rules should be enforced fairly regardless of who you are, where you come from, or how much your Daddy makes. But what if Daddy sues the school because his little Sammy had his cell phone taken away?

Herfball: What type of seminar would be successful? Parents of suicide victems? Videos? Live demonstrations? 
Show Steaks: I agree that sometimes "bullying" is caused by the lack of self esteem in the "victem", so how do you suggest we raise the self esteem of students who feel they are being bullied?  Where do you draw the line between "pecking order" and intimidation and bullying? 

I appreciate everyones reply and answers (Also, thanks to those that have shared their stories via PM's. Very very eye opening and informative!)
Please keep them coming.

 

[beefy08]

I'm glad teachers like you are doing something to stop this. My sister lost a freind who killed himself due to bullying. He was a little different, different hair and clothes then those who picked on him. He was also quiet. This happend a week ago today. Again thank you for what you are doing.

 

[shortdawg]

I think having someone come in for a seminar on the effects of bullying would be helpful. Document the effects through real situations such as the one beefy stated in the above post. Bullying is real and should be dealt with harshly - it can make a great child think he/she is worthless and lead to some life long problems. I'm on the school board here in our county and have a lot of info presented to our board on school safety, drugs, etc. You would be very very surprised at the percentage of students that feel threatened for whatever reason and that have contemplated suicide. We as a system try to stay on top of and address these situations but many are afraid to speak up b/c of the consequences they may face after school hours - where we have no control.

 

[yuppiecowboy]

Most of the posts in this thread strike me as silly and do nothing to address the issue. Seminars, counseling, focus groups, "not nice" lectures do not, have not, and will not do a darn thing to alleviate the issue.

Lets face it, a HS is not a whole lot different than a cow herd. There is going to be a pecking order and some rough treatment. Only difference is that as human beings we should be able to be human to our fellow beings. It does not work that way.

The fact of the matter is the faculty have duty to see that no one is physically, emotionally, or in any way threatened or intimidated. THis is a faculty problem not a student problem and there needs to be a strong defense of those who cannot or will not stand up for themselves.

The answer is for the bullied to fight back. However it is not practical. It makes for a good story but usually there is a physical disparity that makes this not an option, otherwise there would not be a bully situation.

Emotional intimidation is horrible. Maybe worse than physical.

Kids can be cruel. Especially HS girls.

 

[oakview]

In junior high, an older student decided to try something on me that would qualify as bullying today.  When I turned around to see who had done it, I saw my brother with someone pinned against the wall of the school hallway, periodically bouncing his body off the wall and instructing him to "Never let me see you do that to anyone again!"  Problem solved.  Too bad everyone doesn't have a big brother. 

Proper upbringing at home would put a stop to most of the bullying.  Parents that take responsibility for teaching their kids right from wrong, spending time building self esteem in their kids, maybe going to church once in a while and teaching 'do unto others' would help.  I don't know if we need too many more seminars as most of us have been 'seminarred' to death.  Reminds me of what I believe George Will said when asked about football.  "It exemplifies all that is wrong with America today.  Short periods of violence interrupted by incessant meetings."

I spent several years teaching high school and saw occasional examples of bullying, mostly emotional.  In one instance, a junior high football player told me another player had thrown the ball at him and hit him between the legs after the play was over.  I asked if he was okay and finding that he was, told him I assumed it was unintentional.  I watched the next play closely, though, and what that young man described happened again.  I immediately confronted the perpetrator, informed him in no uncertain terms that it would not be tolerated, and told him to start running around the track until I told him he could stop.  You could say my voice was elevated.  The next morning, the principal stopped in my room to discuss the matter.  I told him exactly what had happened and that I had indeed 'used my outside voice', but no profanity was involved.  I also told him that if one of my kids had performed a similar act, I would expect the person in charge to act exactly the same way.  Case closed.  If I witnessed a case of emotional bullying, the whole class got to listen to my speech on the theory of life whether they wanted to or not.

 

[Cattledog]

as for punishing i absolutely hate when schools give out of school suspensions it defeats the whole purpose of school.. the absolute worst punishment is sitting in a little blank room alone doing your homework, take there phone and ipod before they go in there and make sure they are awake every 20 minutes

You've got something here.  I had an internal suspension once and it sucked!  We ate our lunch seperately too.  That was over 15 years ago and I still remember how much I hated that!

Just so you know I didn't get the internal suspension for bullying. It was for skipping my lunch hour to go to McDonalds.  For some reason I thought that was a cool thing to do.

 

[herefordfootball]

For the seminar thing Show Heifer, I'd say have the parents of children whose lives ended because of bullying come in and talk tell the kids how the bullying ruined just a normal day or made it hard to even go to school in the morning because they were afraid. These kids need to realize what they are doing and to what degree it affects an individual. Videos showing the affects and maybe a day in the everyday life of a bullied child would show these kids how much it hurts to be bullied.There have been many new sequences on childhood bullying that I found very informative and that would probaly be effective on children. If they have any remorse or compassion this should help them change their bullying ways. Hope this helps SH.

Fighting in school, or afterwards, is not acceptable, so I can not encourage kids to get into a physical fight.  If the theory behind spanking is wrong, so is encouraging fighting to stop bullying.
I have found in my "research" that many kids who are bullys, often have bullys as parents. You all know the type: My kid is never wrong, you can't do that to MY kid. The parent will get into trouble "defending' their child over a school policy, etc.
So maybe the question needs to be ask is "How do you explain to PARENTS that bullying is wrong?" 

I can think of a few school policies that WERE enforced, only for the parent to show up and raise hell, and excuse their childs behavior.  I agree that all policies and rules should be enforced fairly regardless of who you are, where you come from, or how much your Daddy makes. But what if Daddy sues the school because his little Sammy had his cell phone taken away?

Herfball: What type of seminar would be successful? Parents of suicide victems? Videos? Live demonstrations? 
Show Steaks: I agree that sometimes "bullying" is caused by the lack of self esteem in the "victem", so how do you suggest we raise the self esteem of students who feel they are being bullied?  Where do you draw the line between "pecking order" and intimidation and bullying? 

I appreciate everyones reply and answers (Also, thanks to those that have shared their stories via PM's. Very very eye opening and informative!)
Please keep them coming.

 

[knabe]

isn't bullying bullying bullying?

 

[kanshow]

Seems like some of the biggest bullys are the teachers and they have the kids terrified to turn them in.

 

[afhm]

Bring back corporal punishment and hand it out on the stage in front of the whole school to add insult to injury. If the ofender is a repeat offender make them wear a prison uniform or something degrading during school, sometimes all it takes is a dose of your own medicine to cure the problem.

 

[afhm]

Seems like some of the biggest bullys are the teachers and they have the kids terrified to turn them in.

agreed