List of simile's,quotes,one liners,bumper stickers lyric lines

[LinZ]

I always liked this one from my Dad 
"Finer than frog's hair split four ways and sanded down" used when people asked how he was or when he saw a fine boned calf

 

[aj]

(clapping)  Beer on whiskey mighty risky...whiskey on beer never fear. ;D        Don't fry bacon naked.(Stole this one from stumpy)

 

[Telos]

               
             

"He's crazier then a peach orchard boar"..."You're just pissin in the wind"..."They don't have both oars in the water".

 

[aj]

What are you trying to say telos? ;D

 

[red]

If you can't shovel it, don't be slinging bull crap.

Red

 

[aj]

From a john Prine song...........grandpa in the front yard leaning on a rake-wondering if his marriage was a big mistake..............Its easy to see I should have gone to school-I'd have been wise as an owl instead of being stubborn as a mule..........Lucy used to play with hula hoops-now she spends time in therapy groups. ;D

 

[aj]

My child is a honor student at usd 314#.

 

[shortdawg]

" Busier than a cat in a room full of rocking chairs "

" I'm as screwed up as a 9 eyed Billy Goat at a 4 way crossing "

" It's hotter than a whore in a pepper patch "

" I'll kick your butt so hard you'll have to pull off your shirt to S#@t "

My Daddy has got so many it ain't funny but some I probably shouldn't print.

 

[aj]

"There ain't no way the horns will beat the sooners!" ;D    famous last words

 

[RSC]

When my brother and I were young, an old timer used to come out and take us Catfishin in the Platte River.  Everytime he would Pass Gas he would Say, " Oooh Boys, that was next door to $h!|. "

RSC

 

[SouthWest]

"If you don't drink when you get in the cattle business, by god you'll drink when you get out."
The definition of a sucessfull cattleman, you pass away on a up market.
"If it has four legs and hair on its back, I can feed it."
"Son there no answers on the bottom of that bottle, just problems."

 

[Chap]

if you've got livestock... you're bound to have deadstock
if the pan's hot.... fry your egg
never whittle against yourself or pee into the wind

 

[Dusty]

make hay when the sun shines

always drink upstream from the herd

shit runs downhill

 

[aj]

"Not all chemicals are bad. Without hydrogen and oxygen, for example,there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer.

 

[aj]

"A person of good character is one who does what is right....even when no one is looking."  J.C. Watts

 

[vet tech]

Bob Dylan- "You don't need a weatherman to know which way the wind blows."
                - " How many roads must a man walk down before you can call him a man? How many seas must the white dove sail before she can sleep in the sand? How many time must the cannon balls fly before they are forever banned?
The second qoute is for all you people who arnt sure what music is. Its from Bob Dylan's song " Blown' in the wind"
Dylan has more worthy  qoutes than the government has lies!

 

[aj]

"tore up some bars,wrecked a pretty nice car, and a good chance I ticked off my wife." Jerry Jeff Walker

 

[aj]

vet tech..."The times they are a changing".

 

[CJC]

"I THINK WHEN I DRINK AND I'M A THOUGHTFUL MAN"

"IF YOUR AUNT HAD BALL'S SHE'D BE YOUR UNCLE"

"SHOULDA ,WOULDA , COULDA GET'S YOU  BEAT BY FORTY EVERY TIME" (OLD FOOTBALL COACHES SAYING)

"THE ROAD GOES ON FOREVER AND THE PARTY NEVER ENDS" (ROBERT EARL KEEN)

 

[aj]

MASS CONFUSION: def  "fathers day in the projects".