List of simile's,quotes,one liners,bumper stickers lyric lines

[aj]

List your favorite quote,simile or what ever. EXAMPLES "she drinks like a fish"...or"you can't hang a man for killing a women that was trying to steal his horse"...or "win one for the gipper"..."tear down that wall"..."say it ain't so joe"(shoeless joe jackson) or whatever. ;D

 

[aj]

If it doesn't fit you must aquit."........."dance like a butterfly..sting like a bee."..........."strap it on boys,the other team is on scholarship also"........"I shall not seek,and I will not accept, the president candidacy for the Democratic party"

 

[justintime]

When someone upsets you, it takes 48 muscles to frown, but only about 5 muscles to smack them on the side of the head

 

[aj]

What are you trying to say? ;D (clapping)

 

[aj]

Dad always told us to "eat your lima beans...it will put hair on your chest and lead in your pencil." The more I think about it I am not sure the lead in the pencil comment was appropiate for a 8 year old boy but maybe I am missing something. ;D

 

[justintime]

I saw a bumper sticker a few days ago that said..... " Tell your boobs to quit gawking at my eyes"

 

[Malinda]

My Dad was a man of many one liners, most of which are inappropriate here!

He always said a cow will make you pay. You can pay now or pay later but she will make you pay.

He's as full of (manure) as a Christmas turkey.

One of my favorites is from Abraham Lincoln.....I will study and prepare and perhaps someday my chance will come.

The Japanese that bombed Pearl Harbor...(May not be exactly right)....I fear all we have done is awaken a sleeping giant.

Roosevelt's address to the nation after the Pearl Harbor attack....the day of infamy speech that ended in so help us God. By the way the 'so help us God 'part was left out of the Pearl Harbor movie starring Ben Aflack

Don't even get me started on John Wayne one liners Pilgrim. I would be here all day typing with my two fingers but I have to go  do laundry, mow the yard and pack to go to my nursing class reunion.

Have a good one,

Malinda

 

[kanshow]

One of the best bumper stickers I have ever seen was during the Clinton years.    Lorena Bobbit for White House Intern.    I must've laughed for days after that.

 

[Kupfarm]

One of my favorite bumper stickers is :

If GOD is your co-pilot, there you are in the wrong seat.

 

[vc]

My Dad used to have all these little saying:
When the phone rang he would answer it and say: "Shirley's(last name) Summer home, some are here some are gone."

If we were going somewhere, when we would get there he would say" All out to see the crocheted bath tub" wasn't till I was older that I got it.

If we stayed out late the next morning he would wake us up early and say" If your going to stay out late with the chickens your still getting up early with the roosters".

 

[Dusty]

"excuses are like assholes, everybody's got one"

"work 5 days a week to survive, work 7 to get ahead"-Dad

"money talks, bullshit walks"

"cows come and cows go, but the bull goes on forever"

"it's kinda one of them deals"-used to describe something thats not exactly normal-i use this one a lot

"if it's got tits or tires it's gonna cost you money kid"-another one from dad

"he'll be just right for Kansas City"-kind of an inside joke used to describe a hard doing POS calf

"stay in the cab"-everybody knows somebody that just needs to stay in the cab whenever you go somewhere

"sexier than a two peckered billy goat"

"morally casual"

"like a one-legged man in an ass kicking contest"

"Don't look at me like I'm so bow-legged bastard steer"

"nervous as a whore in church"

"sweating like a dog shittin' tacks"

"git 'r' dun"

"that woman hasn't missed a meal since christ died"

my personal favorite:    "she's hotter than a two day tire fire!"

 

[yuppiecowboy]

I broke my back once, and my hip twice. On my worst day I could beat Hell out of you. (JW)

I wont be wronged, I wont be insulted and I wont have a hand laid upon me. I dont do these to others and I demand the same in return. (JW)

Stupid should be mandated as a capital offense (YC)

 

[Dusty]

"Don't get mad, don't get even, get way ahead!!!"

 

[ELBEE]

I saw a bumper sticker a few days ago that said..... " Tell your boobs to quit gawking at my eyes"

Had a buddie ask a gal once, "How much fer what yer advertizn'?"  She buttoned the top 2 buttons real quick!

"Dumber then a tree full of dead owls!"

"Don't take a genius to find the goat in a sheep herd!"

"If you don't believe in Christ, you better be right!"

 

[knabe]

I saw a bumper sticker a few days ago that said..... " Tell your boobs to quit gawking at my eyes"

that reminds me of the SNL skit with kirstie alley with eyes on her breastisis.

Americans are getting stronger. Twenty years ago, it took two people to carry ten dollars worth of groceries. Today, a five-year-old can do it.

 

[RSC]

"I hear you Cluckin, Big Chicken"
"Why buy the Cow, When you can get the milk for Free"
"Did I studder or did your ears wobble"
"Slicker then snot on a babies but"
"Apple don't fall far from the Tree".  By the way it falls right next to it with my Boys.

 

[justintime]

When we had icy roads to drive on, my dad would say. "take it cool..... it is as slippery as snot on a glass door knob

He had another .... slippery as a duck's tit

If he didn't think much about something he would say "it was as useless as tits on a wooden goose"  Not sure where these sayings came from.

 

[rtnok]

Lets were burning day light. And my grandfather always said your ass is the blackest if you were correct.

 

[stick]

Sometimes you have to hit a mule between the eyes with a 2x4 to get his attention

 

[Dero]

Messed up as a soup sandwitch
Smaller than a minnows ___
Hotter than welfare love