politness-or need to be

[justme]

The other night I had an intersting facebook conversation with a cousin I really don't talk to much.  Let me give you her background.  She's a 40 year old Wiccan (AKA witch), a yogi (I literally wasn't thinking and asked her if she stole picnic baskets like Yogi bear.  She wasn't amused) , that never had to work for much in her life.  Been years since I talked to her and she always poked fun at me for being a "dumb farmer".  (yes she's lucky I didn't kick her butt in my younger days)  Well, she proceded to lecture me on my way of life.  She informed me how she was a raw food vegan, and an animal rights activist.  No shocker to me actually.  I remained calm as my blood pressure rose.  I gave intelligent well thought thru replies to her criticism.

My thoughts on all this....  Why in the world do I find that I need to be polite?  I know, take the high road.  In general, city folks often think of us as uneducated ( she does for sure).  I'm not a rocket scientist, but I do my job well and to the best of my abilities.  What I find funny is these so called, "educated folks", are really rude, and push, push, push there beliefs on us; even if we don't want to hear it.  That night, I felt prouder to be a cattle rancher than I ever have.  I gave her the facts, told her (politely) that most with her view are uneducated and take there beliefs off of a few photos and videos that do not represent the majority of us.

Hats off to you all! ( the good, the bad, and the ugly lol)  After meeting many of you and reading your posts I'm lucky to be in company of first class people!

 

[lowann]

The other night I had an intersting facebook conversation with a cousin I really don't talk to much.  Let me give you her background.  She's a 40 year old Wiccan (AKA witch), a yogi (I literally wasn't thinking and asked her if she stole picnic baskets like Yogi bear.  She wasn't amused) , that never had to work for much in her life.  Been years since I talked to her and she always poked fun at me for being a "dumb farmer".  (yes she's lucky I didn't kick her butt in my younger days)  Well, she proceded to lecture me on my way of life.  She informed me how she was a raw food vegan, and an animal rights activist.  No shocker to me actually.  I remained calm as my blood pressure rose.  I gave intelligent well thought thru replies to her criticism.

My thoughts on all this....  Why in the world do I find that I need to be polite?  I know, take the high road.  In general, city folks often think of us as uneducated ( she does for sure).  I'm not a rocket scientist, but I do my job well and to the best of my abilities.  What I find funny is these so called, "educated folks", are really rude, and push, push, push there beliefs on us; even if we don't want to hear it.  That night, I felt prouder to be a cattle rancher than I ever have.  I gave her the facts, told her (politely) that most with her view are uneducated and take there beliefs off of a few photos and videos that do not represent the majority of us.

Hats off to you all! ( the good, the bad, and the ugly lol)  After meeting many of you and reading your posts I'm lucky to be in company of first class people!

(thumbsup)

 

[justme]

My question now is....do you all feel obligated to be sympathetic to there decision to be vegatarians?  Do you feel you need to be polite? ???

 

[chambero]

It's called taking the high road for a reason- it always works out better for you in the end and you will end up in a better, higher place in life than they will.  One should be very cautious in ever intentionally burning bridges with someone, even if you can't imagine a situation that it could hurt you.  People "with issues" always get theirs in the end.

To be successful in life (by whatever definition you want to use), you don't have to be great at anything, you just have to not be self-destructive and that puts you in better shape than 80% of the people out there.  How many people destroy or at least continually set back their life with stupid decisions - ones that result in divorce, loss of jobs, and even with ones that cause them to lose their moral compass or sense of priorities (I put animal rights, goofy religions, etc in this category).  

Do you think your cousin is truly happy?  People that aren't want to make reassure themselves that everyone they come in contact with is as miserable as they are.  That's why its dangerous to consort with pessimists.  The greatest gift my wife has given me is helping me learn to be happy with where I'm at and what I'm doing - not to put too much emphasis on tomorrow or "someday".  I grew up with family members that always worried about "what was wrong". 

It doesn't hardly ever hurt us to be polite.  You never know when it might unexpectedly help.  My pesonal exception is when it involves someone potentially doing something detrimental to my kids.  That's when it doesn't hurt to let people know you have "fangs" that can be used when appropriate.

 

[lowann]

It's called taking the high road - and it always works out better for you in the end.  One should be very cautious in ever intentionally burning bridges with someone, even if you can't imagine a situation that it could hurt you.  People "with issues" always get theirs in the end.

To be successful in life (by whatever definition you want to use), you don't have to be great at anything, you just have to not be self-destructive and that puts you in better shape than 80% of the people out there.  How many people destroy or at least continually set back their life with stupid decisions - ones that result in divorce, loss of jobs, and even with ones that cause them to lose their moral compass or sense of priorities (I put animal rights, goofy religions, etc in this category).  Do you think your cousin is truly happy?  People that aren't want to make reassure themselves that everyone they come in contact with is as miserable as they are.  That's why its dangerous to consort with pessimists.

It doesn't hardly ever hurt us to be polite.  You never know when it might unexpectedly help.  My pesonal exception is when it involves someone potentially doing something detrimental to my kids.  That's when it doesn't hurt to let people know you have "fangs" that can be used when appropriate.

Well said!

 

[justme]

Thanks! I thought it would make good discussion (thumbsup)

 

[Sly]

It's called taking the high road for a reason- it always works out better for you in the end and you will end up in a better, higher place in life than they will.  One should be very cautious in ever intentionally burning bridges with someone, even if you can't imagine a situation that it could hurt you.  People "with issues" always get theirs in the end.

To be successful in life (by whatever definition you want to use), you don't have to be great at anything, you just have to not be self-destructive and that puts you in better shape than 80% of the people out there.  How many people destroy or at least continually set back their life with stupid decisions - ones that result in divorce, loss of jobs, and even with ones that cause them to lose their moral compass or sense of priorities (I put animal rights, goofy religions, etc in this category).  

Do you think your cousin is truly happy?  People that aren't want to make reassure themselves that everyone they come in contact with is as miserable as they are.  That's why its dangerous to consort with pessimists.  The greatest gift my wife has given me is helping me learn to be happy with where I'm at and what I'm doing - not to put too much emphasis on tomorrow or "someday".  I grew up with family members that always worried about "what was wrong". 

It doesn't hardly ever hurt us to be polite.  You never know when it might unexpectedly help.  My pesonal exception is when it involves someone potentially doing something detrimental to my kids.  That's when it doesn't hurt to let people know you have "fangs" that can be used when appropriate.

Thats real good. Thanks

 

[knabe]

she's a vegetarian, cattle are vegetarians.  i say eat her.

 

[Cowboy]

Hey Gidget -- here is my analogy of what we all seem to have to go thru in life, and especially these days of the so called NEED to be Politicly Correct and all of that.

When I was 4 years old up in SE MInnesota, dad made a living milking 40 head of registered Jersey's BY HAND, I remember the milk can truck coming every day and pulling those cans of milk from the water tank where they stayed cool over night.

One day, I was standing ankle deep in liquid manure wiggling my toes and laughing, I must have had a really funny look on my face to, when dad spoke up and said -- """"""" Son ( remember I was 4), if it looks like crap, and feels like crap, and smells like crap, it most likely IS crap!!!!"""""""
(Words amended for proper audiences)

I have never forgotten those astute words given to me that summer day of 1957!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So, in your case, crap is crap no matter if it is humanity or just some non-working piece of equipment. I agree with Chambero that you probably should not burn bridges unless you have to -- but in this case, that dang thing is already on ire -- so BURN BABY BURN !!! hehehehe

Way to go girl, way to go!!!!

Terry


PS -- Knabe is feeling a ittle punchy after injesting a few cases of beer during calving season, so forgive him !!! hehehe

 

[jlingle]

It's called taking the high road for a reason- it always works out better for you in the end and you will end up in a better, higher place in life than they will.  One should be very cautious in ever intentionally burning bridges with someone, even if you can't imagine a situation that it could hurt you.  People "with issues" always get theirs in the end.

To be successful in life (by whatever definition you want to use), you don't have to be great at anything, you just have to not be self-destructive and that puts you in better shape than 80% of the people out there.  How many people destroy or at least continually set back their life with stupid decisions - ones that result in divorce, loss of jobs, and even with ones that cause them to lose their moral compass or sense of priorities (I put animal rights, goofy religions, etc in this category).  

Do you think your cousin is truly happy?  People that aren't want to make reassure themselves that everyone they come in contact with is as miserable as they are.  That's why its dangerous to consort with pessimists.  The greatest gift my wife has given me is helping me learn to be happy with where I'm at and what I'm doing - not to put too much emphasis on tomorrow or "someday".  I grew up with family members that always worried about "what was wrong". 

It doesn't hardly ever hurt us to be polite.  You never know when it might unexpectedly help.  My pesonal exception is when it involves someone potentially doing something detrimental to my kids.  That's when it doesn't hurt to let people know you have "fangs" that can be used when appropriate.

I think when most folks refer to the "cowboy logic" they have something ilke this quote in mind.  That's as intelligent a response as I've read in a long long time.  I'm glad I read it.

Now in response to your question of "why do I always feel the need to be polite?"  Here's my take on it: I'm a hothead.  I have this lingering bruise in my side from being elbowed by my wife when my idiot mouth flies open and blurts something out, without my brain filtering it properly.  I lose my temper and say things that I shouldn't, and I always wish I'd been able to keep my idiot trap shut when it happens.  My best friend is one of the nicest people you'll ever meet in your life.  He very rarely ever has a cross word for anyone, no matter the circumstance.  It's funny, he always says he wish he had my quick wit and my ability to tell someone off & I always say I wish I had his ability to keep my cool, keep my yapper shut, and properly think things through before blurting out my opinion.  I guess if the truth be told, there is a happy medium there somewhere, but I bet it's much much much closer to the "polite" side of the fence.

BTW, I am getting much much better at keeping my mouth shut nowdays.  Ive worked hard at it for years, and it's beginning to show.  Having 3 kids (2 of them being wild and crazy little boys) has helped my patience a lot.  I'm not nearly as ill-tempered as I once was.  See that signature line underneath all of my posts?  I'm one of those people that absolutely NEEDS to be in church and reading my bible.  Mainly because I can't imagine what life would be like if I didn't.  No telling where I'd be, or who I'd be bunking with as a cellmate.

 

[common sense]

Gidger...I have about every combination in my family from tree hugging vegan to raw beef-eating carnivorous redneck. When we sit down at the dinner table we all expect to receive the respect that we were raised to give one another...not matter what our beliefs or food preferences. If somebody at that table chooses to be disrespectful the they are most likely going to get a respectful earful from the rest of us. Everyone at that table has a right to their own beliefs but if they are going to spend the evening poking their own ideals down everyone elses throats then they are most likely going to go hungry. My point is to stand on your own values and always be respectful even when other people are not. If they are going to be rude and disrespectful then I think you can let them know EXACTLY where you stand...in a respectful way of course. Set the example...then call uncle Bob to whup them!  LOL

 

[kanshow]

(clapping)Great Topic!   

We have a vegetarian in the extended family and my mother in law always makes a special non meat dish for them..  I think this is wrong.  They come to dinner, they eat what we eat.  I can guarantee they do not make a meat dish when we visit them. 

 

[herfluvr]

Your first sentence is your most telling.  That you haven't spoken to this person in a while.  There probably is a reason.  
As I get older, I find myself more tolerant of other people views.  I can have respect for their's but they must respect mine as well. Some of the most interesting conversations I have are learning about others and what they do and believe and sharing what we do and believe with them.  Tolerance, patience and acceptance have come with each year added to my calender.  That said, I do draw a line in the sand on some issues and will not enter into dead end battles with anyone.  These are my views and I will share them with a person if they ask.  I don't care for people that preach to me or try and swing me to thier side.  I have a tendency to smile, nod and answer with "isn't that interesting" and leave them to their ideas.  Some people just cannot see another side.  Your cousin sounds like one of those.  Too bad she isn't open minded enough to at least share what she thinks is the positive part of her life choices instead of trying to "convert" you to her thinking.    

 

[Telos]

Great topic Gidget.

Vegans upset my stomach. i get a few in my Restaurant  and wish they would go some place else to eat. One Vegan mother feeds her two year old daughter, who could pass as being nine months old, primarily carrot puree with rice and she appears anemic and has a deep brown-orange color from too much carotene. There should be a law against this kind of behavior.

I think it's a good rule of thumb just to bite your tongue when people do such guffy things unless they're harming someone.

 

[knabe]

I think it's a good rule of thumb just to bite their tongue when people do such guffy things unless they're harming someone.

 

[justme]

To top it all off she's a raw food vegan geesh!  Can't even cook those poor vegies to put them out of there misery lol (clapping) (lol).

Bad enough being a "witch" (I think the "w" should be a "b") but criticizing me just about made me loose it

 

[knabe]

ask her if she'll make you a dish with meat in it.

if not, ask her why she hates diversity so much.

ask her when was the last time she took someone's views into consideration and accommodated them rather than imposing her views on them.

 

[chambero]

Great topic Gidget.

Vegans upset my stomach. i get a few in my Restaurant  and wish they would go some place else to eat. One Vegan mother feeds her two year old daughter, who could pass as being nine months old, primarily carrot puree with rice and she appears anemic and has a deep brown-orange color from too much carotene. There should be a law against this kind of behavior.

I think it's a good rule of thumb just to bite your tongue when people do such guffy things unless they're harming someone.

I have a former coworker who had her first child at around 40.  She basically feeds the kid twigs and woody vegetation (slight exageration).  She complains that he isn't growing and isn't as active as his contemporaries (lord knows when she actually let's him be around other kids).  Our mutual client (who is a good old West Texas boy) tells her (and she has to take it - him being a client) - "He doesn't need a pediatrician.  Give that kid a **** hamburger and a Snickers every once in a while he'll be just fine."

On the other hand, my wife never griped when my boys rolled around in cow manure at the barn as infants, three goat turds at each other (and probably ate a few if I guessed), made mud pies, and chewed on rib bones at restaurants as babies to get them to be quiet, and God forbid, sucked on pacifiers that were flavored with whatever happened to be on the ground wherever we were at in any moment at time.  10 years later and still alive, they are darned near immune to everything up to and probably including the Ebola virus. 

Book burning is a bad idea, but I would like to invoke the privilege on every parenting and marriage harmony book ever written by a city dweller.

The motto amongst the men in our household - Vegetables are what food eats!

 

[justme]

lol that sounds like my family (lol)  Thanks for some great discussion.  I miss the days that Red put up topics that made ya think and discuss <rock>

 

[kanshow]

I have noticed that a lot of children being raised as vegetarians have a pasty pale complection with dark circles under the eyes.  They look anemic.  Do their parents not see this?   

On the other hand, my wife never griped when my boys rolled around in cow manure at the barn as infants, three goat turds at each other (and probably ate a few if I guessed), made mud pies, and chewed on rib bones at restaurants as babies to get them to be quiet, and God forbid, sucked on pacifiers that were flavored with whatever happened to be on the ground wherever we were at in any moment at time.  10 years later and still alive, they are darned near immune to everything up to and probably including the Ebola virus. 

That's pretty much how my kids were..  dirt & dog hair are just another seasoning for whatever food they are eating.    They are religious followers of the 20 second rule unless they really really like what has fallen - then they make a snap decision as to the general cleanliness of the area and go to the 30 second rule.